Normal guy here, sarcastic and humorous.
Landscape and night scene photographer
you know you love me
xoxo







« go back

« go back

Tell me that it's just me. at 2:41 AM

No mood to sleep today. Camping out in my living room with just my lappy and with all my family all asleep. Tomorrow got a course at 7am in the morning and here I am, still awake and not planning to sleep.

Well,  I just started thinking about everything now at such an unholy time. Thinking about everything in my life. In every aspect as well as those things hidden in my heart for quite sometime now. Maybe God is telling me to let it all go and let nature take its course.

This is what I really feel and you ain't fit to be the judge of my life.
Don't wanna read? Get out.


First thing is about SC... as usual. Well, if SC didn't come into my life, maybe it wouldn't be that bad afterall. Why did everything have to change? Why did everyone have to change? All because of SC, people around me started to change into people whom I don't know anymore. And to think that I enjoyed PB. PB made my life interesting and made different aspects of my life that I didn't know existed,  existent to me. It taught me that we can all enjoy the work we do, whether or not it is saikang or some important shit. Mrs Tan held the crown for PB and while she was leading us, I could really feel that I could depend on others if I needed anyone to help, encourage or even listen to me. She made me feel like people actually noticed me and what I was capable of. She made me feel like I actually belonged to a family and being loved. But all this was taken away when SC came. Everything was swiped from me overnight. The teacher that I looked up upon, the peers that I laughed, worked and even ranted with, the family that I once knew that would back us up when we needed that little bit of physical or emotion set-back, gone overnight. Now I'm stuck in a world, an alien world with no one to talk to.
When I try to fight for what I think is right, or even believe that is right, the teachers come to call us childish. This thing that they were trying to make was made up of students that want to voice out their unhappiness and yet afraid to get a scolding from the teachers. Teachers are like us, students. So what made them judge us? You call us childish, I say you are led by the nose without any freedom and you don't have a life. What made you the boss of my life? Your age? Your experience? You may be older than me but you don't understand life. I'm not saying that I understand life perfectly but at least I bother to fight for what I believe in and not suck up to the VP and bootlick.
I tried to fight, but then you advised me to quit if I'm not happy with it. So now you're trying to rule my life as well. I fight because most of us are unhappy with it. I fight because we don't believe that this step will make the school grow. I fight because I wish to get back MY family. But as teachers, you just forgo everything and tried to make the changes sound exceptionally nice. But just to tell you, I'll never stop hating SC. The only reason why I stopped fighting is because I don't want YOU to feel very stressed. I know that with all the pressure that the teachers are giving you, the school work that you have to cope with and the stress of having to be a role model to everyone, you wouldn't want anymore. So I didn't want to fight anymore cause the teachers would only ask you to talk to me as they know that you're very close to me. I can't actually say this to you cause I know that you would feel that you're kinda dragging me down and stopping me from doing what I really want. So i chose to bottle it all up, trying to forget it as well as any bad memories. But never did I know that it would all come back to me, at this current moment.

I wrote a whole lot of things about you and I but I don't really think that I should post it so...yeah.
Looked back and regretted tons. If only life had a system restore like windows.
I hate my life and myself.

Labels: I hate to watch it all go away. Again.