Normal guy here, sarcastic and humorous.
Landscape and night scene photographer
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Tell me that it's just me. at 2:41 AM

No mood to sleep today. Camping out in my living room with just my lappy and with all my family all asleep. Tomorrow got a course at 7am in the morning and here I am, still awake and not planning to sleep.

Well,  I just started thinking about everything now at such an unholy time. Thinking about everything in my life. In every aspect as well as those things hidden in my heart for quite sometime now. Maybe God is telling me to let it all go and let nature take its course.

This is what I really feel and you ain't fit to be the judge of my life.
Don't wanna read? Get out.


First thing is about SC... as usual. Well, if SC didn't come into my life, maybe it wouldn't be that bad afterall. Why did everything have to change? Why did everyone have to change? All because of SC, people around me started to change into people whom I don't know anymore. And to think that I enjoyed PB. PB made my life interesting and made different aspects of my life that I didn't know existed,  existent to me. It taught me that we can all enjoy the work we do, whether or not it is saikang or some important shit. Mrs Tan held the crown for PB and while she was leading us, I could really feel that I could depend on others if I needed anyone to help, encourage or even listen to me. She made me feel like people actually noticed me and what I was capable of. She made me feel like I actually belonged to a family and being loved. But all this was taken away when SC came. Everything was swiped from me overnight. The teacher that I looked up upon, the peers that I laughed, worked and even ranted with, the family that I once knew that would back us up when we needed that little bit of physical or emotion set-back, gone overnight. Now I'm stuck in a world, an alien world with no one to talk to.
When I try to fight for what I think is right, or even believe that is right, the teachers come to call us childish. This thing that they were trying to make was made up of students that want to voice out their unhappiness and yet afraid to get a scolding from the teachers. Teachers are like us, students. So what made them judge us? You call us childish, I say you are led by the nose without any freedom and you don't have a life. What made you the boss of my life? Your age? Your experience? You may be older than me but you don't understand life. I'm not saying that I understand life perfectly but at least I bother to fight for what I believe in and not suck up to the VP and bootlick.
I tried to fight, but then you advised me to quit if I'm not happy with it. So now you're trying to rule my life as well. I fight because most of us are unhappy with it. I fight because we don't believe that this step will make the school grow. I fight because I wish to get back MY family. But as teachers, you just forgo everything and tried to make the changes sound exceptionally nice. But just to tell you, I'll never stop hating SC. The only reason why I stopped fighting is because I don't want YOU to feel very stressed. I know that with all the pressure that the teachers are giving you, the school work that you have to cope with and the stress of having to be a role model to everyone, you wouldn't want anymore. So I didn't want to fight anymore cause the teachers would only ask you to talk to me as they know that you're very close to me. I can't actually say this to you cause I know that you would feel that you're kinda dragging me down and stopping me from doing what I really want. So i chose to bottle it all up, trying to forget it as well as any bad memories. But never did I know that it would all come back to me, at this current moment.

I wrote a whole lot of things about you and I but I don't really think that I should post it so...yeah.
Looked back and regretted tons. If only life had a system restore like windows.
I hate my life and myself.

Labels: I hate to watch it all go away. Again.

Insecurity at 12:47 PM

Well, I don't update like every other day even when I have nothing to write so if you wanna read something, come back once in a while cause I only update when I got something to write.

Holidays are coming to an end and like always, Slacker over here hasn't done anything. Literally hasn't done anything. My holidays are spent like wasting my life over a period of 30days. I rather go back to school to do something fruitful. But hell yeah, holidays are fun too.

it was 23rd yesterday~~
And yeah, a long text. ♥
But you got me thinking about everything. A simple yet vague statement, ''I might change''. Thinking about whether everything would change, I don't feel so safe anymore. It isn't about me being actually scared SCARED about changing, it's just that this year many thing changed and most of the people that are really close to me just changed and everyone left me alone, crying. No one bothered about my pleas and cries. Everyone just walked away from me, one by one. It hurts just to see it all happen in front of me and without having the ability to stop it all but to watch it all go by. Now they are all busy with their own lives and there I am, left alone. Finding someone to turn to, but to no avail. All I could do was to bottle it all up, and show the world the kind of person I never wished to be. The heartless and uncaring person that I wouldn't want to be. I just want to know that I'm cared for, and people actually noticed me and what I've done. Is it wrong to have such simple wants?

All I want now is a hug. Anyone care to oblige me?

Labels: Am i just a another guy?

Boredom at 4:17 PM

OK. I'm bored. I wanna go out. I wanna play. I don't wanna stay at home anymore. Can anyone ask me out? But if no one wants to ask me out then its okay, I'll just stay at home and rot throughout the holidays. Well, I just realised something. I eat when I'm upset, and when i can't find something to eat, I make something to eat. I bet my grandma didn't teach me how to cook just for that though.


I CAN FINALLY UPLOAD PHOTOS!!! :D *big happy face* :). I can like finally have some pictures in my blog. This pictures are awesome right? Of course they are. :D these stars were given to me by my honey~. It's like so damn sweet luhh. I swear that I was high on sugar then. :D:D:D. Well, I promised her that I'll give her something surprising this month and well, i hope that it'll be surprising enough. if not, i wonder what's surprises her.


I really miss you. Would your parents let you out if I were to ask you out on a certain date? I don't wanna wait till the 21st june just to see you as we're all going for the SC shit. I wanna hug you. But then we don't get what we always want so stay happy alrights? Or at least for my sake. :) Cause I don't wanna see you upset and crying.

Labels: Holidays.

Mixed feelings at 3:07 PM

I was leading such a happy day till you texted me.  Well, it wasn't what I expected it to be. Maybe you wouldn't listen to what I say, wouldn't take notice of them. That kinda just shot through my heart. To think that all I ever wanted to see or even hear is as simple as a text from you, a call from you or even just a simple '' I'm always there for you.'' But I realised that all these had changed. You were no longer the person that I used to know. The person that wouldn't stop caring for others, and would even make others feel that you were there for us. But suddenly, it all changed. It was like a twist in dimension and I feel like I entered a parallel dimension. But I know that, that wasn't possible. I asked you to text me when you reached back to singapore, but when you returned, the first text was regarding a matter about your juniors. I didn't mind about that cause I know that you treat your juniors as well as your friends. The matter that literally broke my heart was that when I asked you about why didn't you text me when you reached back, your answer was simple and yet hurtful. '' I thought you would text.  '' That simple line that was meant to be harmless really just pushed me back into the harsh reality. I really wish that I'm thinking too much or it's just my own perspective. Because I really feel like you just take me for granted, and that hurts. Real bad. Most of the times where you would tell me that you would text me back later, you didn't and I didn't mind cause I know that you are forgetful and maybe tired and hence you fell asleep. But what I really mind is that you didn't really listen to what I say. That made me think again, but thanks to Yingying who I could really talk to, I didn't think that much. All i can say is that, it hurts when you say such words.

Labels: I try to smile but you keep stabbing me in the heart.

The days. at 4:29 PM

o.O June holidays just started yeah. 1month of stoning at home just started. Not sure what to do at home and no idea where to go. Holidays just suck. I rather go school. LOL.

Went to Singapore Polytechnic for our AEM course during the last week of the term. (Kinda regretted cause someone's course was at NYP and I had to forgo breakfast with her. Well, at least that wasn't the last I saw her before she went overseas. :D)  At first I didn't think that it'll be fun at all but after the first day of the AEM, I realised that I was wrong. Flight simulation, making of our gliders, cold jokes and cool attitude from the different lecturers as well as the long and too-much-formulaes lectures made it fun. Unknowingly and expectedly, me and helix got paired up. First we made a Wright Brothers kind of plane and realised that it wouldn't even fly in the first place so on the day of the test, we made a new plane. Looks like the same planes that others made but our plane flew surprisingly far. o.o  Then it came the test for our gliders, we were the first to fly our planes and it reached from one end of the workshop to the other end. :O Even the students of SP clapped for us. One moment of glory. LOL. The lecturers treated us to mac twice. Felt really bad about it cause the total cost for the two meals was $198. Then we went home and well, we all missed the lecturers sia. If they taught in CCHY, we would all be looking forward to school everyday. :O

Well, met a really bastard old man last friday. Jason, Vivien, Sichen and I were walking on the road and then some uncle just stopped behind us, no signalling to us that he was behind. Then only when we looked back then we realised that he was behind us. He then rode on his bicycle till he was in front of me and started staring at me. Then he scolded a lot of hokkien vulgarities ( I bet he didn't know that I was hokkien :D ). Well, Mr not-very-nice guy here obviously didn't just stand there. I obviously scolded him back with whatever shit he shot me and I added on my own vocab so quite fun though. Then Sichen was like laughing.

To add on to the boring holidays, someone just had to go overseas y'know? Leaving me behind in this small and warm country that I live in. Stoning at home with just my computer in front of me isn't that fun afterall.  Everday I stare at the computer and I realised that the internet is getting more and more boring every minute, I rather go out with my friends even if we were walking aimlessly.

And I WANNA WATCH KUNGFU PANDA 2. Currently waiting for SOMEONE, that particular SOMEONE that left me alone in this small and warm country cause THAT PERSON promised that she'll watch the movie with me. :D Happyboiboi_96@hotmail.com. Hehehee.

Now gotta prepare for tuition so bye~

Labels: You won't see me crying cause I'm hiding inside.