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Memories at 12:58 PM

Yeah, finally found time to blog.
Anyways, this final post would be for you if you ever come in here to read it.
I'm not sure whether I'll continue with this blog anyways.
But anyways, thank you for the wonderful memories that you gave me for the past 8 months starting from Nov last year.
You always asked me why I send you home all the time and I never actually answered your question and so now I shall answer it. I love you. I know that it's a little far away and I'm not sure whether you'll ever come in here and see but still, I'll put it here until you ever come in.
Still remember? On 28 October? That was the time when I first held your hand and we walked. Well, if you can remember, then remember how I asked you for your hand? I still find it rather stupid till today. I actually wanted to take it from the MRT station but I never had the courage to do so. Until when we reached your blk then I realised that it's now or never.
'' Hey, gimme your hand.''
'' Huh? Why?''
''Just do it. :D''
*lifts up hand*
Then I just grabbed it. Stupid right? But until today, I never regretted my actions. And I just love how you didn't take your hand away. :')
29 October, you hugged me for the first time. And then, I never actually expected that to happen. I was really shocked. And that was the time where I never wanted to let you go but it was late already (LOL) so I had no choice.
30 October, I hugged you first then you hugged me.
11 November, that was the very day that I first kissed you on your cheek. I never knew what would happen when I did it but I never wanted to let the chance go away when it presented itself to me so I took it. I took a gamble of my life. And that was the most successful gamble I had in my life. And to add on, I didn't expect you to kiss me back. That was one of the most happiest days in my life.
12 November, The day when I kissed you on the lips. My first kiss LOL. And until today, I never regretted giving it to you and I'll never regret it. I expected you to move back at first but instead, you kissed me back. I loved that moment.
15 November, this was the day. The day that I asked you to be my girlfriend. Didn't expect an answer immediately and well, let you think about it first.
19 November, remember that I sent you home first but you were alone at home? Then I ran ( yes, I ran. ) to your house and what happened? I went to your house just to kiss you. LOL. Simple yet memorable.
Then, on 4 January, I asked you for your reply to my question. You replied 'No'. That was one moment which I can never forget. But well, I still remember the exact place I was at when I received your text. And from then on, we hardly talked for the next one month. Hell of a month, I hated it. Until one day...
11 Feburary, You asked me to help do a video for Jiaenn's birthday and then, you came to my house to do it.  But unexpectedly, you came to my house to do the video and halfway through it, we got distracted. (I was always distracted by you anyways. That moment wasn't a exception.). We ended up kissing. And now, I'm still thinking about how it all happen. Maybe it just happened.
28 Feburary, that was the day when we were challenging each other on who could be mushier. That was the day when you first said,'' I love you.'' to me. ♥ I can still remember how my heart melted when you said that through text. 28 Feburary 2011, 1942.
Then, it was the day. 23 March. I asked you to be my girlfriend once again and on the spot, you replied me, '' Yes.''
That was the moment when I realised, I was truly happy for the first time. My life was then changed by you as  you were always beside my in my times of need and troubles and I would really like to thank you for everything. The love, the care, the concern and everything.

And until recently, I realised that my life was changing. Not for the better, but for the worse. The only reason why I didn't do anything was because I knew that the choices and decisions that you made would make you happier than how you were so I never questioned your decisions. I never fought back as if he could make you happier than how I did, then I rather you be with him. I want you to be happy. Just that simple, nothing more.
And now, we seem like strangers. I really don't like that. All I need is some acknowledgement from you. Maybe a smile? Wink? Or some facial expression when we meet, cause it's getting really awkward between us. I never wanted all this to happen but God must have a motive for doing this so I won't challenge it as I know that what ever he does to me, it's for my own good. If we are really meant to be, you'll come back to me. I know that. Until then, all I can do is to wish. Hope.

So before I end this, I really hope that you can read this post. Just once. Once is enough. That's all I ask for.
Until then, good bye.


Deep in my heart, I'm suffering, knowing that I've lost you. On the outside, I'm living, pretending that I've forgotten you.

Labels: My universe will never be the same